


Cells are Forever

by poTAYto416



Category: Spies Are Forever
Genre: But what’s new, F/F, curt is an asshole, irene pines for barb, this is so gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-31 06:51:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poTAYto416/pseuds/poTAYto416
Summary: After the events in 1961, Agent Curt Mega is back in the field! And he’s got some damage control to do. On his first day back in four years, Curt mistakenly drank Irene’s rare stem cells used for her tissue regeneration research. But now, nearly a year later, Barb informs him he has to “make nice” with Irene. Will she forgive him? Probably not.





	Cells are Forever

A.S.S. Headquarters, June 11th, 1962  
Agent Curt Mega stepped back through the doors of the A.S.S. Headquarters after ten full minutes of struggling. Damn, those electronic eye scanners, they were nothing but a pain in the ass, and not the good kind. Curt wasn’t sure who suggested it in the first place, but he knew that he detested them for it. It was a silly little machine, a waste of time. No one would care about such an intricate, tedious piece of equipment decades later.

The familiar scent of coffee and stale cigarette smoke hit Curt’s nose, and he took a deep breath, happy to be back in his second home. His breath was cut short, however, by a severe coughing fit. He’d underestimated just how much of the latter was in the air, and how poorly the two mixed. He did his best to wave the foul stench away, adjusted his suit, and walked on.

He greeted several people along the way to the coffee machine, none of which he particularly knew by name. It was a string of several “Hey, you!”’s and “How’ve you been, man?!”’s to the various staff who passed him, every one of them giving him a polite smile and response before walking on.

Curt’s styrofoam cup was filled almost to the top with coffee before he grabbed the creamer on the small cart to the right of the machine. He only took a bit in his coffee. He didn’t take it black, like a heathen or Cynthia. He thought back to the events of that night, and every night after: more grieving, just as the first time, but this time felt... strangely different. Owen had been a changed man, and Curt knew it. It didn’t stop the hurt from settling in, nor the familiar twinge of pain seeping into his stomach and twisting it into several intricate knots.

“Agent Curt Mega!” The three-decibel-too-high greeting caught Curt off-guard, and he gave a soft curse, followed by an even louder “shit- fucking damn it!” as steaming hot coffee flowed over the side of the cup that Curt had managed to knock over in his surprise. Legs stinging and pants drenched, he turned to face Barb Larvernor, who looked sheepish. “I-I’m so sorry, Curt, I-I’ll go get you some towels... please, come right this way into the lab!”

Even though she didn’t technically work in the lab anymore, Cynthia and the agency still let her come and go as she pleased, and not to the annoyance of the other scientists. They rather enjoyed seeing Barb again, and catching up with her. Barb led Curt to a chair in the corner, where she quickly grabbed a few towels in one of the cabinets. “The lab keeps extras in here in case of spills... I guess that’s a good thing, huh?”

“Yeah, terrific, Barb, can we please work on getting this hot shit off of me?” Curt grumbled, wincing as she gingerly patted his pants leg with the towel.

“Right, sorry... you know, I think we- they have an extra pair of pants in the equipment room? They’re waterproof and fireproof-“

“Do they improve my libido?” Curt asked, attempting to pull a straight face, which proved fruitless due to the slight flinching as Barb dabbed at his pants again.

Barb peered up at him with a grin. “You _were_ paying attention!” She cried, patting his leg harder than intended, earning a loud “gah!” from the agent in the chair. Barb’s scrunched up and she smiled bashfully up at him. “Sorry... why don’t you take these off-“ she pointed at his pants with the towel. “-and I’ll go grab you your new pair for the day, Hmm?”

Begrudgingly, and after asking her to turn away, Curt tugged off his pants and tossed them to Barb, who, back still turned, jumped in surprise before rushing off to find the extra pants. Curt surveyed his legs: only a bit red on the shins, despite the excessive stinging. He was grateful his mom had done the laundry the night before, leaving him in boxers rather than tighty-whities. God forbid if someone came in and-

“Oh, my god.” Curt’s head snapped over in the direction of the voice, and his heart sank when he found its source; Irene was standing in the doorway, covering her eyes on the side Curt was on. “You know, I don’t know what kind of stuff they let you get away with as a field agent, but _that_ -“ she gestured blindly, literally. “-is _not_ permitted in the lab.”

Curt was stunned into silence, something that didn’t happen to him often. When he came-to, he grew bright red and quickly tried to cover himself up. “N-no, this isn’t what it looks like-“ Shit, what was her name? Edna? Ernest? “Er...Erma...?”

The redhead rolled her eyes, pulling her hand down. “Irene.” She corrected. “And if you weren’t jacking off, do you mind telling me what the hell you’re doing in your underwear in _my_ chair, in _my_ station?”

Curt squirmed a bit in his chair. He didn’t like the look Irene was giving him. It was almost like she had a power over him. “I-I…” Curt stammered, nervously running a hand through his coiffed hair. “Barb made me spill my coffee on myself and ran to grab me an extra pair, I didn’t realize this was your station-“

“My name is literally right there.” Irene pointed behind Curt’s head where a PhD certificate hung, diagonal to and slightly above a photo of an orange tabby cat.

Curt turned in the chair, arching his head back to further his glance. “Ah… right… Irene Adams, Biomedical Engineer…” he read, before his gaze moved to the photo. He turned to her with a weak smile. “You like cats?”

“That’s Dolly. She’s six.” Irene said, setting her things out on her work station. Curt had no idea what the hell any of those things were used for, and he didn’t care to. He looked over at her neatly organized station before his gaze moved back up to her. She was so methodical about how she did everything; making sure her beakers were lined up just so, goggles and her spare set directly to the right of the sink, how she’d buttoned all of her lab coat up until the last button. “What are you staring at?” Irene asked, yanking Curt away from his thoughts. “Do I not work to your standards, Agent?” There was something about the way that she spat the word that gave Curt a sinking feeling deep down in his stomach.

“N-no, I-“

But Curt didn’t have time to defend himself as Barb came rushing back into the room. “Alright, Curt, I found them-! Oh, good morning, Irene.”

Irene’s scowl turned to a bright smile as she greeted Barb. “Good morning, Barb. How’d the wedding go?”

“Well, thank you! It was so lovely, and they had the best cake brought in-“

“You got married?” Curt asked, completely oblivious to Barb’s last statement. He swiveled a bit in the spinny chair he was still sitting in.

Barb sighed softly. “No, I went to my friend’s wedding last night. I sent you a note asking you to be my plus-one, but I guess you didn’t see it-“

“No, I don’t guess I did.” Curt recalled getting something from Barb in the mail, but left it be, even after his mother had mentioned it. “Well, I guess I’ll be on my way, thanks again, Barb, for the pants,” Curt said, tugging said item of clothing on. He grimaced at the discomfort of the fabric, but pushed the feeling aside. He’d been through worse.

As he left the room, however, he took notice of a soft set of footsteps hurrying behind him. “Hey, Curt?” Barb called softly, and he turned to face her. “She didn’t give you too much trouble, did she?”

“How’s that, now?”

“Irene. She didn’t get too upset you were there?”

“Hmm? Oh, no, it was totally fine. Hey, what’s her problem, anyway? She isn’t very nice, or at least she wasn’t to me.” He turned to walk on, expecting her to follow.

“It’s because she hates you.”

Curt stopped dead in his tracks. No one had hated him, at least to his face, since Owen had, and to be completely honest, it stung a little. He whirled around on his heel to face her. “Hates me? Why on earth would she hate me, Barb, that’s ridiculous-“

“You remember her, don’t you?” Barb asked, rocking back and forth on her feet nervously.

“Do I remember her?”

“Yeah, the… the first time you met, you weren’t very nice to her…”

“Barb, that’s… that’s crazy, I’m nice to everyone-“

Barb sighed heavily. “You really don’t remember, do you? Before you sobered up, you drank her stem cells-“

Oh, right. That. Sure, maybe that was an asshole move, Curt thought to himself, but so was holding a grudge for nearly a year. And they were just stem cells, she could make more, right? “Well, that’s ridiculous. Holding grudges for that long is ridiculous.” He should know, he was on the wrong end of one for four years.

Barb let out another sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Just… maybe if you apologized to her-“

“Hah! That’s alright, Barb, I’m sure she’ll get over it. I’ll apologize when I get hurt on the job, and that never happens.”


End file.
